(Inspired by my Director Friend, my fancies and the present scenario of continuous group discussions and Personal Interviews)
An Advertisement appears in a famous Love-paper:
Resumes invited for freshers, with no work-ex in this domain for marriage of our only Daughter F$#%$&.
Candidates will go through a stringent process. All the candidates would be invited by the employer for a round of interviews.
Round 1: After short listing of resumes based on academic, monetary, emotional and status qualification, a maximum of 21 candidates would be selected for Round 2. Any discrepancies in the resume will be out rightly rejected.
Round 2: The panel comprising of the daughter’s father, her distant relative and next door neighbour who pokes her nose into god-knows-what-matters will conduct Group discussion for the 21 odd candidates in group of 7.
Max time limit: 1 hr; during one fine Sunday evening
Probable GD topics: ‘How much you love my daughter’ , ‘What is marriage’ , ‘ What are your future prospects of your marriage’, 'How is your financial stability?',‘ International perspective of Marriage’ , ‘ The effect of Recession on Marriage’, ‘ Marriage is all about perception’ etcetera .
The weakest candidate might be given a chance to summarize the GD.
Reminder: Please remember to bring a copy of your Resume along with your recent photograph attached to it, with your name signed against it.
Round 3: After the short list of candidates is announced, the candidates would be intimated a date and time for Personal Interviews.
Panelists: One HR person ( Daughter’s Mom) & one Technical/Functional Manager( Apparently her Father)
The Personal Interview might span from 1 min to 2 hours depending on the performance of the candidate, his etiquettes, his perfume and his voice.
Oops.. And also might be on the basis of his knowledge, wisdom and Logic.
Personal Interview Questions might be varied, enigmatic and confusing at times.
Probable Questions: ‘Describe yourself in one word’, ‘Which vegetable would you buy if you go to the Market’, ‘Is love important before marriage or marriage important before love’, ‘Describe all the unstated needs of a particular wedlock’, ‘Which was the latest movie you watched’, ‘Please run though your CV and let us know about your past affairs’,’ What is the Net present value of your future love-stocks’, ‘ Is porn good for your love life’, ‘Describe the world’s best couple’.
Warning: Every Question counts. Just don’t blindly answer Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt as the world’s best couple. The interviewer trickily asks this question to find out how passionate you are for the assignment.
Round 4: The selected candidate would be given a Spot offer and asked to sign the agreement immediately. There might be negotiations depending on the profile of individual candidates. If the selected candidate rejects the offer in totality, the offer would be passed on to the first wait listed candidate.
The final offer letter along with the break-up of the compensation package and the joining date would be intimated later on.*
* Might also be rejected if you are severely affected by external ill-forces like Recession, unemployment, Brain hemorrhage, bankruptcy.
An Advertisement appears in a famous Love-paper:
Resumes invited for freshers, with no work-ex in this domain for marriage of our only Daughter F$#%$&.
Candidates will go through a stringent process. All the candidates would be invited by the employer for a round of interviews.
Round 1: After short listing of resumes based on academic, monetary, emotional and status qualification, a maximum of 21 candidates would be selected for Round 2. Any discrepancies in the resume will be out rightly rejected.
Round 2: The panel comprising of the daughter’s father, her distant relative and next door neighbour who pokes her nose into god-knows-what-matters will conduct Group discussion for the 21 odd candidates in group of 7.
Max time limit: 1 hr; during one fine Sunday evening
Probable GD topics: ‘How much you love my daughter’ , ‘What is marriage’ , ‘ What are your future prospects of your marriage’, 'How is your financial stability?',‘ International perspective of Marriage’ , ‘ The effect of Recession on Marriage’, ‘ Marriage is all about perception’ etcetera .
The weakest candidate might be given a chance to summarize the GD.
Reminder: Please remember to bring a copy of your Resume along with your recent photograph attached to it, with your name signed against it.
Round 3: After the short list of candidates is announced, the candidates would be intimated a date and time for Personal Interviews.
Panelists: One HR person ( Daughter’s Mom) & one Technical/Functional Manager( Apparently her Father)
The Personal Interview might span from 1 min to 2 hours depending on the performance of the candidate, his etiquettes, his perfume and his voice.
Oops.. And also might be on the basis of his knowledge, wisdom and Logic.
Personal Interview Questions might be varied, enigmatic and confusing at times.
Probable Questions: ‘Describe yourself in one word’, ‘Which vegetable would you buy if you go to the Market’, ‘Is love important before marriage or marriage important before love’, ‘Describe all the unstated needs of a particular wedlock’, ‘Which was the latest movie you watched’, ‘Please run though your CV and let us know about your past affairs’,’ What is the Net present value of your future love-stocks’, ‘ Is porn good for your love life’, ‘Describe the world’s best couple’.
Warning: Every Question counts. Just don’t blindly answer Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt as the world’s best couple. The interviewer trickily asks this question to find out how passionate you are for the assignment.
Round 4: The selected candidate would be given a Spot offer and asked to sign the agreement immediately. There might be negotiations depending on the profile of individual candidates. If the selected candidate rejects the offer in totality, the offer would be passed on to the first wait listed candidate.
The final offer letter along with the break-up of the compensation package and the joining date would be intimated later on.*
* Might also be rejected if you are severely affected by external ill-forces like Recession, unemployment, Brain hemorrhage, bankruptcy.
