A Lousy Statz Afternoon Class..

I sleep in ma class because my Prof sings a lullaby,
I wish I tripped to the streets of Carlsby.
Why doesn't the Prof ever understand her students,
They dont need da lectures, they are all prudent.
My friend sitting on my right bench is dozing;
The missy on my left with crossed legs seems to be posing.
Constrained minds are complaining for the draggy lectures,
The back-benchers sense that their brains are filled with fractures.
Marketing multitude haggle that Fin is all crap,
Fin people wriggle that Marketing is all Frappe.
So many subjects to study: Systems, Operation & Strategies;
Why doesn't the admin understand that not all are 'child-prodigies'
My Prof stares at me; I gave a Phew!
Grâce à Dieu that bookish students are so few!!

Gone with the wind..

I wipe ma tears and look at the sky,

I feel so numb; I dont know why?

Strangers have strangled me for quite sometime;

I have cried enough; but now I am fine!

I look at people with floating smiles,

Often mistaken to be melancholic whiles.

I feel the nature one more time,

The same nostalgia striking ma spine.

A feeling that enthralled me has slept on winds,

Now I am unaffected with my friends & fiends!

My heart has left me, not ma soul,

My winks have fluttered on the sugar bowl.

My shadows escaped to the far-west Sind,

But now I wonder: Has it gone with the wind?

My experiments with Verity:

Prologue: With my MBA classes in full rush I recollect ma bygone days of ma engineering college. I was beguiled by the charm and comfort of Manipal. The place has pampered me a lot, given me strokes of slashed emotions and gave me an easy ‘8’ CGPA for ma future dayz.. n filled ma core with poignant memories. I had scribbled something sitting at the last bench of ma classroom, half-stoned and half-oblivious…..

Phase1: My Prof enters the class and without pausing to say a word, starts off with his usual routine i.e write some gobbledygook on the blackboard.

Truth: I am yet to find out what goes on in class. Turning from the blackboard to the back benches, we can perceive the full effects of the professor’s monotonous tone. Everyone wants to leave the class fifteen minutes early after coming to class some ten odd minutes late. I would prefer to remain in my dreamland rather than come back to the terra firma and the lugubrious monologue of the professor. The same ole dull lesson being taught in the class and the now familiar response of the bored disinterested class. No one even bothers to wish the prof- they juz make a cursory attempt at standing up when he entered the classroom.

Phase2: The teacher turns around and lectures on the topic.

Truth: The majority of the class is unaware of even the name of the chapter being taught. Half the class stares blankly at the teacher, totally unable to comprehend a word he is saying. The other half assume intellectual expressions and act as if they are following every word, trying to remain in his good books. They pay the price when incomprehensible questions are fired at them. The backbenchers stick to their devil-may-care attitude , hardly bothering with the very existence of the professor. The President of the backbenchers Association ( his bunk-o-meter touching record levels) takes the lead..provided he is present in the class in entertaining the class with his usual pranks. My friends are obviously more interested in his antics than in what is going on at the front of the class. Many heads turn back and smiles are exchanged between different corners of the classroom.

Phase3: The professor is suddenly aware of the disturbance in class. He shouts at the usual suspects, closely followed by a volley of questions fired at them.

Truth: Ma poor friends.. they never tried to interrupt his lecture. They were more than willing to leave him and his lecture alone and hoped that he would be kind enough to reciprocate. According to them , there is nothing wrong in class-proceedings moving along separate lines as dat Robert frost dude had once quoted something. Of course, they win the sympathy of the entire class. After all, they have managed to waste a few minutes of the lecture. The affair closes with a few arguments and soft pleading on both sides. The teacher realizes rather late that he is wasting his lecture hour, ends his reprimand then and there and resumes teaching.

Phase4: A hand rises from the crowd and this time around, the roles are reversed as a student rises to ask the prof a question.

Truth: This is what is called as pandemonium.. Professor knows that derz a high probability that the students myt be playing ‘Truth n Dare’ and the victim would have been made to ask the teacher some nonsensical question or the other. There is very little chance that the student is trying to clarify a genuine doubt. Confusion prevails all around as the prof does not understand the question properly and nor does the student understands a word of the answer. This unfortunate situation is cause for great hilarity to the rest of the class.

Phase5: The Prof winds up the class and takes attendance..

Truth: A sigh of relief goes up from all ma friends. Itz as if the lecture session is the Matrix and Neo –the backbenchers has been dodging the bullets i.e questions during the battle. The Prof never forgets to take attendance because that is the only reason why students sacrifice their morning sleep and come for classes. Of course, if the professor does not intend to take attendance, he is expected to inform the CR well in advance so that they do not commit the cardinal sin of turning up for his class. The professors are also aware that free attendance can transform a populous class into a desolate land. During attendance, the student’s fun and the professor’s wrath vie with each other as usual, with the latter often proving helpless. Soon afterwards the teacher is besieged by students asking for hand-written notes and important questions for the exams. As a result, some of the saner students manage to get their hands on the students’ equivalent of the philosopher’s stone i.e da necessary material for the exam. As for the rest..dey juz don’t care! The class is over and for the moment itz ‘All’s well that ends well’.

Epilogue: Today is ma convocation ceremony at Manipal. My University didn’t even realize that a major proportion of our batch would be appearing for CAT on the following day or rather it missed out that engineers are drifting towards B-schools…. Mayank calls me and asks ‘Where am I?’…I am flooded by mixed feelings..I have stopped cribbing on ma management classes…A fellow friend in college and I were arguing that there shouldn’t be attendance constraints in B-schools… If there weren’t any, then I would have gone to Manipal…I don’t miss ma college classes but I miss the place… I miss the people with whom I shared ma memories..I miss da lazy mornings..Sly afternoons…animated evenings and the candy-nights. I juz hope that ma morning lecture is not like da previous ones…I juz hope that the juice is worth the squeeze!